Here goes nothing! LIS & Skin Tag Removal - Thursday Feb 10

Hi Guys,

Well, I've managed to scrape together the funds to buy a nice new partially severed Internal Sphincter muscle plus removal of and presumably disposal of a stupid Skin Tag which has become surplus to my requirements. A couple of family members have offered to help out by loaning me the cash. I'm just that pitiable!

I saw a CRS last week who I trust is up to the job. I had seen a different CRS previously, but for some reason he just did not inspire confidence. He did have very large hands! ... I think, abnormally large! I mean, how dexterous can a person really be with enormous sausagey paws like that? The new CRS had dainty little things ... Like they were made just for this job ... Delicate lady hands!
She was very nice, and quite happy to answer my loooong list of questions regarding LIS and Skin Tag removal.

I'm to have nothing to eat or drink after 7:30 am on Thursday morning. Due at the hospital at 11:30 am, then a lovely enema and then at some point (hopefully soon after), I'll be unconscious and ass-up on an operating table. Blissfully unaware of the nice lady with the sharp object who’s approaching my rear end.

Absolutely terrified!! I'll be sure to post in detail ... Graphic detail!

Whoa, all aboard the surgery train! It's great to hear that you're now finally able to afford that severed ass muscle you've been eyeing and saving up for since you were a kid Kidding aside, you either have the most humorous way with words, or the most amusing method of diverting anxiety haha. Although I can't argue, as my surgeon also had tiny lady hands, and I was freakin' TERRIFIED before the procedure too!! Oh yeah, I also got the enema treatment, and the last thing I remember before blacking out from the anesthesia was a couple dudes plus my surgeon flipping me face down and ass up onto a steel table (except it wasn't even the "cool and dignified" type of face-down-ass-upness -- the table was kind of arched upward like an upside-down "U" and I was just bent right over it). Definitely not glamorous and a bit awkward ... like hey guys, couldn't you wait until I was out cold to do this?

Seriously, though, it's good to hear you've got a date to storm in and demand your ass back. Let us know all about it, and I'll say the same thing I tell everyone before LIS: wear black pants to the surgery center just in case

I should first be dignified, and say "congrats and good luck" sphinctersaurus! I am going to sacrifice a chicken for you on that day.
And then I should say that you and NG had me in stitches reading your posts. Maybe when you are both healed you should make a comedy act!
Butt seriously, I'm glad you can get things moving on the AF front. You'll have to plan to spend your next savings on a good pair of shoes to go dancing in post-LIS.

So Happy for ya Sphinctersaurus! You have a awesome attitude about this.
I think Good CRS's like our questions and don't mind answering:) I think that's a good sign.
You're going to do great, I'm sure!
Keep us posted

love the humor sphinctersaurus!!!!

that is the way to tackle this baby!

you'll be amazed post-surgery and then you'll have some work ahead, which will have some days playing with your head, but just keep your positive cheerful humor up and you will come out wishing you would have done this sooner.

funny that my surgery was not face down-ass up - i was totally on my back with legs up in stir-ups!!! YIKES! i didn't see or feel a thing when they moved me around - i walked in the OR and got on the table face up and went to sleep....

did i mention, my CRS gave me a brazilian while i was sleeping! okay, well not quite a brazilian, but she did shave my ass!

i hope that is covered by insurance.

Ok Sphinctersaurus- you are going bravely into this new world about a week before me so I will be anxiously hanging on your every word! I'm happy for you that you were able to get the funds. The surgery center where I will have mine done on the 17th called yesterday and I was so surprised to hear that my only prep is to not eat or drink after midnight. I was assuming I'd have to do the enema thing or something similar to the prep for a colonoscopy. When she told me that, I expressed my happiness at that news and she said " everyone is always so excited about that part".
You guys have me freaked out now. I didn't think to check out my CRS in terms of hand size! When I was pregnant, a co-worker mentioned that her mother always said you should check out the hat size of any future husband and I realized "uh-oh" (my hubbie has a very large hat size). And sure enough, my daughter had a head circumference in the 95th percentile and I ended up with a C-Section. Somehow this reminds me of that...

Thanks guys,

Less than 24 hours to go now ... VERRRY nervous!
NG - I'm actually pretty worried about the upside down U device thingy that they drape you over to get better access to that soon to be renovated area. With a ruptured disc in my low back, that's not the best position to be in, although I guess it won't be for very long. I hope they are careful. Dignity and I parted ways many years ago, butt I do hope that they have the decency to make sure I'm asleep before they start playing pose-a-patient and making jokes about my ass. Good tip on the black pants too NG. I hadn't thought of that.
Oh how I wish I didn't have to think of that!

Bumbutt,
Thanks so much ... a burnt sacrifice is just what's needed.

It will please the gods and they will reward me with a loose sphincter and many riches ... Or less riches as it happens. Perhaps I will wake up with the ability to dance too. That's not something I've been able to do in the past so ... Oh man, I really will be the envy of all my friends.

Thanks Dawn! My attitude actually isn't that great. I've nibbled all my fingernails off and I'd start on my toenails too, if I could just reach em!

Happy, I wish they would let me do the flat on back - in stirrups thing. Sounds much more comfy that ass up

Hey Bambi,

I know just what you mean. The last time I had to fast for an op, it was more than 40 HOURS by the time I ate something!
My surgery was actually supposed to be on the 15th, but the Doc gave me a call late yesterday and asked if I could do it on the 10th because apparently I was the only person she had scheduled for surgery. That would have been great actually ... Less waiting around! I will be sure to post in as much gory detail as possible.

Predictably, my BMs have been glorious wonders of perfection the last few days! I have finally achieved MIRICLE SOFT POOP! Well ... Thanks very much you stupid bowels ... A little late don't you think? You've been a constant disappointment and a terrible burden!

Hey Sphintersaurus (still laugh every time I hear it ), just wanted to pop in and wish you well! I guess "down under" it's less than a day until showtime now, you'll do great! And don't worry, I think I'm the only one here who's actually ever needed the black pants haha You should be just fine even with the ruptured disc, just be sure to tell the doc about it before the anesthesia kicks in LOL. We'll see you "on the other side" of LIS and look forward to hearing all about it.

Thanks heaps NG!

Yes, it's true ... We live in the future down here!

Well, that's tomorrow! I will be sending you positive vibes tomorrow - is it in the AM or PM that you'll have the LIS?

Sometime in the PM I think. Hopefully not too late, but I know I've been jammed into an otherwise packed roster, so we will see.

I'm so tempted to just eat every thing I see. If I could see a buritto right now .....

Head is busy busy busy ... Must try to relax!

Thanks for all the support guys

Hey sphinctersaurus!! I'm so happy for you--wishing you the best outcome! And you and NG totally made me laugh--'new ass muscle you've been eyeing' -- ha! You two are awesome.

Well I must say I'm jealous too--I want my own day of reckoning scheduled soon!

Happy healing!

sphinctersaurus wrote:Thanks heaps NG!

Yes, it's true ... We live in the future down here!

Hey still awake?!?! Got a bit of pre-op insomnia, have we

Nah, I'm a bit of a night owl. I actually (surprisingly) slept pretty well. It's a bit hot here at the moment, but other than that ... very restful. It's morning now so I'll be leaving in a couple of hours. Fighting the urge to find a hand bag to hide in. Trying not to panic ... Fingernails all gone now!